Got Any Duck Food?

A duck walks into a store and asks, "Got any duck food?"

The clerk replies, "No, I'm sorry, but this is a book store."

The next day the duck walks into the same store and asks, "Got any duck food?"

"No, I told you yesterday - this is a book store."

The next day the duck walks into the same store and asks, "Got any duck food?"

"What's the matter with you? I told you No twice already - if you ask me one more time I'll nail your little flat feet to the floor!"

The third day the duck walks into the same store and asks,"Got any nails?"

"Nails? Of course not! This is a book store."

"Good. Got any duck food?"

For the Kids Out There

What has webbed feet and fangs?

Count Quackula.

Parlez vous Duck?

IKEA

"Everything at IKEA requires assembly. I bought a pillow, and they gave me a duck."

- Comedian Todd Glass

DUCK!

A man and a duck are walking down the street together. Suddenly the man notices a low flying airplane coming right for them. So the man yells "DUCK!!!!" The duck looks angrily back at the man and yells "MAN!!!!"

Stepping on Bubbles

Three ducks went into court. The judge called the first one to the stand.

"What is your name?" he asked.

"Quack." the duck answered.

"And why were you arrested?" the judge asked.

"I was stepping on bubbles." he answered.

The judge didn't see anything wrong with that, so he dismissed the duck and called up the next one.

"What's your name?" he asked.

"Quack," the duck answered.

"Why were you arrested?" the Judge asked.

"I was stepping on bubbles." the duck replied.

Again, the judge saw nothing offensive, so he called up the next duck.

"What's your name?? No wait, let me guess, Quack." he said.

"No," said the duck, "My name is Bubbles."